Page Turner Book Tours Presents:
Today, I’d like to welcome fellow author, and darn good story teller to my blog! I’ve had the pleasure of reading her first book, The Empire, and I must say, it was a page turner!
Today, Elizabeth is going to share what it’s like to be an author…. (or how we keep the craziness away, lol). A round of applause for Elizabeth, please!!
Writer enters, pulls the laptop over while wincing at the discovery of a burp-spot from her niece, twin number two, on her shoulder. She sighs and decides that changing her top can wait, there is writing to be done and it’s long overdue. Flexing her fingers (well mentally anyway), she waits for her laptop to boot up while musing if anyone really flexes their fingers before typing, like the obligatory cackle of laughter from a villain before he embarks on his next nefarious deed. Maybe I can include it in the next Evil Overlord episode.
All right, back to the task at hand, writing another guest post.
Reading the instructions. “Or she can let one of her characters take over the post and talk about themselves and their story.” Hmmm.
That opens up a can of worms…
Sester, the (evil devilishly handsome, irritating endlessly entertaining) psychostrategist, who perpetually seems to be looking over the writer’s shoulder (virtually, of course), doesn’t say anything—which is troubling if you knew him.
Writer: All right, out with it. What’s in that devious mind of yours?
Sester (with ever so pained innocence): Moi?
Writer: I don’t see anyone else here.
Sester: You don’t really see me either. I’m in your mind.
Writer (smells fish): You know what I mean.
Sester (smirks, but in an endearing way that only he can manage, which makes you want to smack him and kiss him at the same time): I thought you could interview all of us.
Argus (big, muscular bounty hunter in leather jacket, comes in waving his big phaser pistol—and no, that is not a euphemism for something else—I did not add that last part. Sester stop playing with my laptop) Who did this?
Writer: Can you point that somewhere else? Or put it away?
Argus: Not until I found out who messed with my gun.
Writer: What’s wrong with it?
Argus: Someone added a STUN setting.
Writer: That’s a problem?
Argus: (looks at writer as if she’s crazy) It has a STUN SETTING.
Writer: You mean that you can’t kill anyone with it anymore?
Adrian: (has been listening at the door) That would be an enhancement rather than a design flaw.
Argus: You! You did this!
Adrian: I had some free time. No need to thank me.
Argus: Change it back. Now!
Adrian: I thought you would like the luxury of a less lethal option.
Writer: It’s Argus.
Adrian: Right. What was I thinking? You can still kill people. I haven’t removed that capability.
Argus: It’s the principle of the thing, PLUS you took my gun without telling me. People have died for less.
Adrian: My apologies. It will never happen again. (He goes back to his work, since, apparently, we’re now all in his lab, where all the action usually happens in my head.)
Argus: Well? Are you going to remove it?
Adrian: (Doesn’t even look up) No.
Argus: (aims gun at him) You will remove it now.
Adrian: I’m busy.
Argus: (squeezes the trigger…but nothing happens)
Adrian: I may have neglected to inform you of another important enhancement.
Writer: Can we please get back to the main topic?
Sester: Which was?
Writer: Uh…I forgot.
So ends another conversation in the writer’s head. I hope it was entertaining in a wacky kind of way. Only a writer can have conversations like this with imaginary people, and not be locked up. At least, not yet.
Wow! I hope you enjoyed that as much as I did! But, the fun isn’t over yet. Elizabeth and Page Turner Book Tours are also running a contest, and guess what? It’s for a Kobo Mini!! If you’d like to enter, click this link! And remember to pick up the book, most excellent reading!